The Waiting Game

What a weekend it was. I went home early Saturday morning just in time for the family visit to the hospital. As I'm about to enter the door my mom turns around and says "Prepare yourself." In my head I say both "I'm fine" and "You couldn't have said that earlier than now??" The woman lying in the hospital bed all but deteriorating before my eyes was no longer my grandmother. She could barely keep her eyes open, called my brother by name and never was able to process who I was. I cried for most of the morning and then again every time I had to tell anyone checking on me that my own grandmother no longer knew who her eldest granddaughter was. My mom has told me since then than the drastic change from the time of my phone call after her visit Wednesday to the time I came face to face with her Saturday morning was severe. 

So we wait.

Meanwhile, I call in reinforcement. And it's Roxie to the rescue. 

She's known the relationship I've had with this particular grandmother for years now and when she got the text that she didn't know who I was, she rearranged her entire weekend to come to my aid. As per usual. She drove all the way home after working a late shift Saturday night and drove back late tonight. Less than a 24 hour visit to make sure I didn't completely lose my mind amidst my crazy grieving family. 

So today, we went out early. Shopping, eating, car browsing (potential new car could be in my future), shopping, eating, drinking and departing. That's all it took for me to not spend another day wallowing in my own tears of mourning. Retail therapy. It's what we do. 

Now, I'm back in the city. For now. Until I have to turn around and go back for a funeral, I play the waiting game. Praying that the funeral and my birthday don't fall on the same day. Boo. 

Yet Another Change of Plans

This is getting ridiculous. I know. 

Last night I received some not so new news... In actuality, I felt it coming I was just trying to avoid it. A not so distant relative has been very ill for quite some time now and after a telephone conversation with my mom last night I feel compelled to go home this weekend for a visit. Truth be told, there's probably not much time left for visiting and after being the oldest granddaughter and second oldest grandchild of 16, I feel that it's time for me to step up and do my part. Yet another fantastic perk of being an adult. 

I know that it will be a struggle. It always has been with this one. I've felt many mixed emotions throughout my relationship with this particular grandparent. 

History? Okay. Not to be egotistical, but I'm one of the more successful grandchildren: College diploma obtained in four years, managing a relationship without becoming pregnant for four years running, taking care of myself, standing on my own two feet without loans from the family, etc etc. You may ask where I make my comparisons of success. That would be to the other 15 grandchildren on this side of the family. Not all of them are screw-ups, but a few favorites certainly have had their fair share of mistakes. Once again, not being egotistical, not saying in any way I am without flaw, however... it's really difficult to be the black sheep of the family (along with my brother) simply because I don't rely on her for my well-being as so many others do. Also, bonus, I don't play sports and while I have a love for them, because I don't play football or I'm not a baseball star, I'm once again dropped down the list. My birthday cards come late if at all, my college graduation was not a "must-attend" but every single one of my oldest cousin's high school and college football games most certainly were. Call me jealous. It wouldn't be the first time. 

Ultimately, I have a lot to let go of. None of it really meaning anything when it comes down to it. She's loved me and has probably never known I've felt neglected in any sense of the term. Now it's time for me to grow up and suck it up. I've loved her and I continue to. I suppose fighting for attention and acceptance is what we do in every aspect of life, huh? Especially when you're one of 16 grandchildren ages 6-23. In the end, however, she's my grandmother and I'm not good with good-byes. 

I go home Saturday morning. Attempt two of birthday shopping mission: postponed. 

Just Breathe.

Love, Laughter, and the Pursuit of New Fashion

Well contradicting my last post entirely... I've decided and made known to those living around me that all I want for my birthday, all I really want, is a party. I want a night out of fun with all of my new city friends with a few old ones thrown into the mix. And flowers. I want flowers. But mainly I want a party to celebrate your's truly.

With this decision however, comes the task of finding new clothing to wear to such an event. I've already started talking it up, in true Classy style, so I have to now find something fantastic to wear out for the festivities taking place. What does this mean? SHOPPING!

You guessed it! And this is the way I've laid it out for myself... I'm in a new city away from the majority of my friends for the first time on a birthday. I'm also in a new job where I'm making more money than I've ever made on previous birthdays. I'm also celebrating downtown with a group of people and Mr. Perfect. This means... "it's my birthday present to me! I'm so happy!" Splurging every now and again for yourself can't be too terrible for you. Right? Right.

I'll let you know how it goes. I've gone round one with no success.. Nothing catchy enough. But never fear, I will not give up. I suppose that round two of this mission will take place this weekend in between scheduled nothingness. I'm looking foward to it. I believe Diva and maybe even Ditzy might be joining me at least on Saturday. It will be the first time that dear Ditzy has come out this way... could be interesting. Could be painful. We'll see.

Don't worry Roxie, I'll be missing you. Plenty.

Classy's Birthday List

Can we first talk about how awesome this cake is? This is now at the top of my list. A birthday cake like this one. Get on it.

But really...Okay, let's talk about this. I have a birthday coming up in a little under two weeks. This is both exciting and tragic at the same time. I just want to lay out what I have on my list this year and then talk about comparisons with years past... thus leading to the tragedy of it all. Follow along..

For entering into the 23rd year of my life, I wouldn't mind receiving the following:

1) Spending it with bests I know I won't be able to be with. (sigh).

2) Lamps I've been eyeing at Target.

3) Patio furniture for my pretty screened in porch that currently has nothing on it but two bicycles.

4) A large bookshelf.

5) My college diploma framed nicely.

6) Various other items of home decor that I would like to be residing in my home.

7) What Happens in Vegas & Sex and the City on DVD

8) A larger dvd tower to hold such dvds since my mother tells me I have more movies than the average stiletto.

9) Lastly, new clothes, shoes, or money to be spent on either would be much appreciated.

Now, let's compare.

What I wanted for entering into the 21st or even the 22nd year of my life:

1) Money (didn't have to request the presence of my bests because they were already there).

2) Clothes and shoes or money to be spent on either.

3) I'm sure a cd or dvd of current interest.

4) Alcohol.

5) Clothes.

6) Money.

Okay, let's be real... I'll always be okay with money for my birthday. Who would turn down spare cash, not this one. But let's just take a minute to reflect on the rest of my lists... mainly how badly I simply want my friends to be around or how the majority of my list this year revolves around lamps, patio furniture, art, and decorative pillows for my couch! Honestly! I'm so lame! But this is where I am in my life... deep breath... I'm coping. That hole I was referring to in my last blog... this adulthood thing... I continue to be reminded of it.

Good news. I get to be told how lame I am by my favorite younger brother tomorrow. I am taking advantage of my day off and driving up the interstate to spend the afternoon with him. It's been a while since we've shared quality time together, it should be entertaining. It usually is. QT with him is good for my soul. Maybe I'll start the new work week off in a good mood. Let's get back to being up beat again, shall we?

Ready. Set. GO!

Am I the Only One?

Probably not is the answer to that question. But I'm just throwing it out there.. I feel like I've fallen into a hole. A hole of no return. A hole known to most as adulthood. Please get me back out, it's dark and scary... It's not been a good day. Typical Wednesday, they're usually not very good. It's just the getting through them that keeps me going. Just getting to Thursday, because then it's practically Friday and I'm one girl who worships Fridays. Why am I not a fan of Wednesdays you may ask? Well Wednesdays are my co-teacher's days off. This means they stick me with a "sub-type" who either knows how I handle my class or doesn't...it's hit or miss. One I love dearly, unfortunately, he's not with me today. So, my kids have been insane, not listening to anything anyone has to say to them. Now, this is to be expected on occasion. They're young. But this Wednesday also marks day 12 I've been stuck with this head cold turned sinus infection turned death. And I'm pretty much miserable. So bear with me... 

Back to this tragic hole. Can I please go back to 21 again? You may laugh and say, it really wasn't that long ago...but in my life at its present state, 21 seems ages ago. I feel like I live from weekend to weekend. Soaking up whatever I can and then it's back to the grind Monday morning.

I love my job. I really do. But work is work. Truth be told, none of us want to do it. Ever. It interferes with me taking off and seeing my favorite people whenever I so desire. It interferes with me being lazy and not getting of the couch for hours on end, watching re-run marathons of America's Next Top Model or Law & Order. It interferes with my shopping sprees and expenditures on items or clothing I don't really need, but were just too cute to pass up. Okay, maybe that last one is a good thing, because let's face it, I'm already broke.. but that's not the point. The point is this: Is this what my life is destined to be for 60+ more years?

Work, weekend, work, weekend, work.....

How depressing.

Just a bad day I suppose. A "case of the Mondays" on a Wednesday afternoon. I just miss my friends I guess.. Ready for everything to feel normal again and I'm afraid it's never going to.. How do you return to normal if you're not sure what normal is supposed to be now?

God help me. I sound like Dr. Phil. ha.

I suppose I should be counting my blessings. It could always be worse. After all, I could be the parent of one of these hellions...

Not. Even. Funny.

Relatively Good Weekend Had By All

Well, the weekend went smoothly as predicted. 

Friday night was a blast. Old friends, new city, adult beverages. Perfection. Started with a delicious dinner at an Italian joint downtown, followed by site seeing on our walk to the bars, followed by toasting to good memories. It was a good night. 

Saturday morning began with my pain in the ass class on how to take care of my children... Six hours later (not an exaggeration), I was registered, grumbling, and speeding to my friends who had been watching football all day. Relaxed for a short while, was entertained by both said friends and football, then continued on into the evening in search of festivities to partake in. My college friend (we'll call her: K) and I went shopping at first to find cute clothing to wear for another night of bar hopping, however, by the end of this particular shopping experience, we were buying ice cream, Sister Act 1 & 2, and new pajama pants. Yes, we're lame... and perfectly at peace with that. You have to take into account how much trouble it is to go out at night people. I mean, I enjoy every second of it, but it takes time and effort that we simply didn't want to give...

Therefore, ice cream and Whoopi Goldberg. This was my Saturday night. And I loved it. 

Sunday was uneventful. Saw the parents as they passed through town, laid around, did some last minute video training (yes, it never ends), and went to see Tropic Thunder (side note: DON'T WASTE YOUR MONEY! It was absolutely and painfully terrible, however that's just one girl's opinion.. then again you are reading something based entirely on my opinions as they pertain to my very existence).  

Anyway! Aside from being told to shut up by a 3 year old this afternoon, Monday wasn't too bad either. Hope everyone else survived it. 

One day closer to Friday... 

Friday Night Festivities!

You know those college friends that you meet the first few weeks you're at school and they stick with you for the rest of time forever and ever, amen? Well I have a few of those and one of them is coming to the city this weekend! Yes, it most definitely calls for a celebration!  Even though the money is low because my payday unfortunately falls on Monday this go around... (Yeah, trying to suck me out of my weekend fun... I think not!) I will not let this stop me from thoroughly enjoying my Friday night on the town! Laughs will be shared, drinks will be had, and Friday night will indeed live up to what everyone wants it to be. 

If you couldn't tell, I'm very excited about this. Let's just say it's been one of those weeks...

Tomorrow morning, I'll get up and go learn about Child CPR and First Aid for six hours... on a Saturday... We're not talking about it. 

Happy Friday everyone!