What a weekend it was. I went home early Saturday morning just in time for the family visit to the hospital. As I'm about to enter the door my mom turns around and says "Prepare yourself." In my head I say both "I'm fine" and "You couldn't have said that earlier than now??" The woman lying in the hospital bed all but deteriorating before my eyes was no longer my grandmother. She could barely keep her eyes open, called my brother by name and never was able to process who I was. I cried for most of the morning and then again every time I had to tell anyone checking on me that my own grandmother no longer knew who her eldest granddaughter was. My mom has told me since then than the drastic change from the time of my phone call after her visit Wednesday to the time I came face to face with her Saturday morning was severe.
So we wait.
Meanwhile, I call in reinforcement. And it's
Roxie to the rescue.
She's known the relationship I've had with this particular grandmother for years now and when she got the text that she didn't know who I was, she rearranged her entire weekend to come to my aid. As per usual. She drove all the way home after working a late shift Saturday night and drove back late tonight. Less than a 24 hour visit to make sure I didn't completely lose my mind amidst my crazy grieving family.
So today, we went out early. Shopping, eating, car browsing (potential new car could be in my future), shopping, eating, drinking and departing. That's all it took for me to not spend another day wallowing in my own tears of mourning. Retail therapy. It's what we do.
Now, I'm back in the city. For now. Until I have to turn around and go back for a funeral, I play the waiting game. Praying that the funeral and my birthday don't fall on the same day. Boo.
3 comments:
I am so sorry to hear that. My grandma had a heart attack when she was visiting a few months ago and was in the hospital, and we've never gotten along but just seeing her so fragile looking in the bed, I Know EXACTLY what you are going through. And I'm sorry you are going through it. Stay strong!
i love you! ☺
Hello. I landed from Lipsmacker.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Both of my grandparents had alredy passed while ago, so my hubby's gram had been a huge part of my life. She had a massibe stroke last year and she passed away a week later at a hospice. It was really hard to let her go, but she was surrounded by all the people she loved and it was so peaceful...
I know how tough it must have been for you. I know when you love someone so deeply and knowing that she doesn't recognize you is heartbreaking. Please stay strong and I pray for you and your family!
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