This is What a Feminist Looks Like.

Don't be scared. 

Most people don't even understand the term: feminist. They only hear it and think bra burning, no make-up wearing, hairy-legged, lesbian. Because of course, to think women should be treated fairly in any sense of the word, would automatically mean same-sex tendencies. 

I mean, really?

Whatever. Anyway,  I'm reading a new book. Don't judge the title: Are Men Really Necessary? When Sexes Collide. I've just started it but so far, it's very cleverly written. She's very sarcastic and witty, which is great when it comes to this type of literature. Obviously, I think men are very necessary. I enjoy them. A lot..... Back to the book--This book, while it sounds like a man-bashing novel, so far, isn't so. It's more about women and who they've become in recent history in order to obtain "necessary men." 

I haven't read the whole thing, only started, so I am unable to give you a full review, but I wanted to give you a bit I laughed at last night: 

(She's talking about the three key books her mother had given her growing up: On Becoming a Woman, 365 Ways to Cook Hamburger and Other Ground Meats, and How to Catch and Hold a Man.)

"As a public service, I will reveal the six key axioms in How to Catch and Hold a Man for women who would be wives: 

-Do not make abrupt gestures of any kind.

-Men are fascinated by bright, shiny objects, by lots of curls, lots of hair (on the head), by bows, ribbons, ruffles and bright colors.

-If he has a girlfriend, try to become a good friend of hers.

-Sarcasm is dangerous. Avoid it altogether. It ruins the aura of softness, womanliness and kindness you should be attempting to create around yourself.

-Avoid saying a direct no and instead seek surroundings that make it difficult for him to approach you. Sit in a narrow armless chair or keep a lighted cigarette between you. 

-Keep thinking of yourself as a soft, mysterious cat. In order to get "the feline look," you must "stand relaxed, bend your knees slightly, tuck in your behind, pull in your stomach, relax your shoulders. For standing, adopt the position above, put one foot forward and rest your weight on the back foot. If this gets tiresome, put the other foot forward, always keeping your weight on the back foot."

...But with enough practice, and enough leopard-skin scarves, any woman can act as feline as a cat. And avoid sarcasm-- altogether (Dowd, 20-21). "

Thought you'd get a kick out of it too. 

Green with Envy? Since when?

Am I a jealous person? I've never considered myself to be. I was part of a long distance relationship for far too long to be jealous of other women being around Mr. Perfect. But while sitting in traffic on the way home from work this evening, I received a phone call from a certain "friend-boy" I told you that you'd be hearing about (the one I'm closer to than I probably should be). The sole purpose for this call was not to flaunt in my face that he has a hot date this weekend... or maybe it was? Nonetheless, I found that when I hung up, I was irritated by this very fact. 

I know, right? You're saying..."Now wait a minute, don't you live with your boyfriend? Weren't you just telling us you had been a part of said long term relationship and were pleasantly content?" Yes, to answer that, I do and I am. So am I jealous of a friend taking another woman out? Okay well before we get into this, let's review... give you a little background, if you will.  

"Friend-boy"... acts very smooth and charming such as Roxie's ever-so-pleasant friend "Sir Jerkoffalot." She referenced Rico Suave, I believe. So, we'll call "Friend-boy," Rico from now on. Still with me? Okay. 

Rico, while much nicer and more respectful than Roxie's "Sir Jerkoffalot," seems to have the same "Prince Charming player" thing going on. But while I know and have witnessed this side of him, he's different with me... for the most part.  All year long, it wouldn't be too much of an exaggeration to say he would do pretty much anything for me. Not to say he exactly worshipped the ground I walked on, but when I called, he was never far away. A girl can really get used to that kind of attention. Really get used to it... I digress. 

Anyway, so when I'm the only female he adores and runs to, you can see where I wouldn't want some other cheap hooker taking away attention that belongs to me, right? Does that make me jealous? I don't think so... Does that make me a spoiled bitch because I'm already receiving attention from my actual invested relationship and who am I to keep him from being happy elsewhere? Maybe. 

Don't judge me. 

I know I have nothing to be jealous of, nor do I have a right to be even the lightest shade of green with envy. Let's recall: Me= In happy relationship/Living with Mr. Perfect; Him= Single/Able to date girls... and play them as per usual the case. So what is this irritation? 

Classy's "inner attention-seeking bitch" coming out to say hello! 

Hey, Hi, Hello!

Good grief what a day...

Oh Monogamy!

Most girls wait and wait for a perfect monogamous relationship... and then... when that perfect one comes along... why does the grass always seem greener on the other side of the state line? 

I was one who waited and waited.. 

and waited..

and waited..

Then Mr. Perfect comes along with his fair share of flaws, but also his fair share of ways to steal my heart. Needless to say, quite a bit of time past now.. I can't really see my life without him. I'm fairly certain there isn't another out there who would treat me with the love and respect that he does. Example: Last night he came home from work, cooked a nice dinner for me that he'd thought out that day, watched the end of a Sex and the City episode (this is a big deal), took me out for ice cream, and came home to watch the Holiday, simply because I wanted to. Mind you, this is not an everyday thing, but it was a nice evening all about your's truly.

(Which will probably make some of you hate me after reading my next statement..sorry.) 

But what about those days when we long for something new and different, something wild and crazy, completely outside of our typical character? You know the kinds of nights I'm talking about.. we linger a bit too long with a charming and handsome close friend- of which I find I have too many of- late at night, we think twice about the guy supplying free drinks at the bar, we can't help but smile and wink at that one guy at the party paying us far too much attention... I mean, what's a girl to do, right? 

Best Friend (previously mentioned and yet to be nicknamed) and I have such conversations all the time.. we joke and laugh at our "misfortunes." She too has a long term boyfriend with whom she lives and she too has the same thoughts as I, all too often. The ironic part is, we both know we've got good things going, yet we both are entertained with thoughts of the aforementioned "greener grass." It's trouble... big trouble. Entertaining trouble... that we usually find ourselves in. We're young right? Right? Probably not a good excuse, but it's one I keep handy. I can almost promise you'll be hearing more of this as we get to know each other...

Oh, Life.