Walking Double Standard

And I just can't help it. 

In college, as a Sociology major, I took several classes dealing with feminist issues and perspectives in today's society. One class in particular looked at how women are viewed in various forms of popular culture and media. A piece of information I have kept with me from said class includes how women are so objectified. Piece by piece they are dismembered and viewed as individual body parts as opposed to actual human beings. This concept disgusts me. 

How does this relate to my title? Well, I have a confession. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am a walking double standard. Tonight in the gym after running my little heart out, I was making my way towards the weights when I happened upon a few handsome athletes I'd not seen before. What I realized after seeing these men and coming to the conclusion that they were attractive... I had yet to look at their faces... oops. I was too focused on the perfect form of their arms while more than my body weight was being lifted above their heads. Big oops. Now, this wouldn't be the first time this has happened in my experiences in work out facilities, but at least I have known said pairs of arms in previous circumstances. Oh well. What can you do? 

I've got a thing for athletes. And their arms. Oh, their arms... My family is full of them. Athletes not arms. Well, arms too... I digress.  It's in my blood to be one or love one. Irony of that-- Mr. Perfect: not so much an athlete at all. I don't hold it against him. And he doesn't hold it against me that my eyes tend to wander in the gym when I see "attractive" men lifting ungodly amounts of weight. I just can't help myself! 

Have I said that already? My bad. 

Anyway, needless to say, tonight's workout was a good one. And not just because of a few random athletes in the room, but I also felt good being back in the groove of my routine after a not so strict weekend. Back on track and feeling good. 

The eye candy made it better...

God, I'm terrible. Funny how such realizations come at the most inopportune times. Oh well. Such is life. I promise, I'll do better... Tell me you haven't done it before? 

Dream On

I had quite a vivid dream last night. When I say vivid, I mean a dream so entirely realistic you feel that you are actually living it... Okay, so perhaps realistic is not the right terminology. But real. It feels real. You know the one I'm referring to... the one you hope is real or pray is not. This one was the former.

I haven't remembered many dreams as of late. I hope that means I'm sleeping well. But last night, in one night... get ready... I was named Sweetheart of a fraternity that does not exist at my alma mater and congratulated by people I have not been in contact with since High School, I was rescued from such a congratulatory mob by quite the handsome college coed of whom I have secretly admired from a distance for four years, I met Kenny Chesney when said coed and I escaped for drinks and then flew out to Key West for a concert in which KC only sang John Mayer songs. Go figure. Island Girl, I'm sorry you couldn't be with me. 

In any case, more excitement than I've seen in some time now. And when I rolled over to my singing alarm this morning, I was more than a little irritated. 

While I've taken a select few Psychology courses, I've yet to discover the meaning of dreams. I'm sure you can find many meanings (good and bad) behind the curious saga that I encountered in one night, but I'm okay with this. I'll take more of the good and less of the bad (of which I have had my fair share this week) and keep dreaming. It's what I do. 

I hope tonight's dream world serves to be as entertaining as last's. In the real world, I'm off to another wedding weekend and another trip back home for said wedding. Exciting, yes. Exhausting, yes. Another witness to the race of life as I've come to see it. Maybe this is why I find such solace in my dreams. There, I can be whoever I want, where ever I want, with whomever I want, with zero responsibility. That's my favorite part. Zero responsibility. 

ha. right. dream on Classy.... 

Men!

What is it with men? Maybe it's just the men in my life. Maybe that's too broad. Maybe it's just some of the men in my life. Blatant disregard for other people, mainly me. Do I allow it to happen to myself? Probably. Ridiculous I know for someone who seems so strong-willed. I'm a sucker for some, I won't lie to you. Rico is one of those someones.

As much as I'm a sucker for him, it also means that he can absolutely infuriate me. Which was the case this evening. Love him, really I do. But how can one person be so aggravating? Tonight was one of the few nights out of the week where Classy gets some alone time as Mr. Perfect had a rehearsal to attend. What does Classy like to do in her alone time? Catch up with her friends, talk on the phone, watch episode after episode of Law & Order, and facebook. When there is no work to do be done, no one to entertain, and no one to criticize my L&O addiction, this is the life I lead. One friend I enjoy catching up with and talking to would be Rico. Usually I can spend time laughing at his ridiculous stories or being informed of the current small college gossip. Tonight however, apparently I was not important enough for conversation. I talked to him after work, then maybe a text message here or there for an hour or so, and then nothing... for quite some time. When he finally decided to grace me with a phone call, he said he had been in a meeting and then people had stopped by and why yes he'd seen that I had been trying to get ahold of him, but no he had chosen to simply watch the phone ring or see the text messages light up his phone instead of picking up or returning one. He was sorry but really, he didn't quite know why... Seriously? Let me rephrase... SERIOUSLY?

I'm not a needy person. Perhaps sometimes I can be, as we all can, but in general, not needy. I do ask that if you're talking to me and then all of a sudden you aren't anymore, to perhaps provide reason or explanation for blatantly ignoring me. Too much to ask? I mean honestly!

Please note that had it been the other way around, the flip side of the coin if you will, he would have been so angry with me that I would not have heard the end of it. I, however, have been apologized to, so I need to move on. Right. This is me venting... and moving on. Call me childish if you feel it necessary but I'm just asking for a little mutual respect here.

Another knot in the rope we use to hold onto one another I suppose. Unfortunately for him, as he's well aware, is the fact that I don't forget easily. It's not about keeping score... okay, it could be... it's about allowing him the opportunity to see how he treats me turned around to directly affect how he's treated. Funny how that works, isn't it?

Yes, I still love him. He's one of my closest friends. He's not usually such a jerk... towards me anyway. I'm still not happy at the moment... it happens. Men.

Green with Envy? Since when?

Am I a jealous person? I've never considered myself to be. I was part of a long distance relationship for far too long to be jealous of other women being around Mr. Perfect. But while sitting in traffic on the way home from work this evening, I received a phone call from a certain "friend-boy" I told you that you'd be hearing about (the one I'm closer to than I probably should be). The sole purpose for this call was not to flaunt in my face that he has a hot date this weekend... or maybe it was? Nonetheless, I found that when I hung up, I was irritated by this very fact. 

I know, right? You're saying..."Now wait a minute, don't you live with your boyfriend? Weren't you just telling us you had been a part of said long term relationship and were pleasantly content?" Yes, to answer that, I do and I am. So am I jealous of a friend taking another woman out? Okay well before we get into this, let's review... give you a little background, if you will.  

"Friend-boy"... acts very smooth and charming such as Roxie's ever-so-pleasant friend "Sir Jerkoffalot." She referenced Rico Suave, I believe. So, we'll call "Friend-boy," Rico from now on. Still with me? Okay. 

Rico, while much nicer and more respectful than Roxie's "Sir Jerkoffalot," seems to have the same "Prince Charming player" thing going on. But while I know and have witnessed this side of him, he's different with me... for the most part.  All year long, it wouldn't be too much of an exaggeration to say he would do pretty much anything for me. Not to say he exactly worshipped the ground I walked on, but when I called, he was never far away. A girl can really get used to that kind of attention. Really get used to it... I digress. 

Anyway, so when I'm the only female he adores and runs to, you can see where I wouldn't want some other cheap hooker taking away attention that belongs to me, right? Does that make me jealous? I don't think so... Does that make me a spoiled bitch because I'm already receiving attention from my actual invested relationship and who am I to keep him from being happy elsewhere? Maybe. 

Don't judge me. 

I know I have nothing to be jealous of, nor do I have a right to be even the lightest shade of green with envy. Let's recall: Me= In happy relationship/Living with Mr. Perfect; Him= Single/Able to date girls... and play them as per usual the case. So what is this irritation? 

Classy's "inner attention-seeking bitch" coming out to say hello! 

Hey, Hi, Hello!

Good grief what a day...

Why Do You Hate Them So Much?

This new city living away from all I know has left me without my staple group of girlfriends.. Unfortunately, this means that when I want company other than myself and Mr. Perfect, I find myself with a group of his friends on any given night. Don't get me wrong, he has some really awesome friends.. I like the majority of them a lot. However, my Saturday night consisted of this:

UFC fighting (this I can handle, I grew up in a house with guys present a lot), crude jokes about women and sex (this I can also handle, like I said, been around guys all my life)--but.. then when I said, "No, Honey, I'm not bored, I'm fine.." they broke out the video games. 

Video games and I don't so much get along. Super Nintendo and I got along just fine... back in Elementary School. The Wii can also be entertaining at times for games such as bowling and the like, however.. The video games and systems that the boys play when I'm around are not so much entertaining to me. So, I apologize, but this will be a rant of said night and said video games. Often I get asked, "Why do you hate them so much?" So, I ask.. why would I hate them so much? I only sat and watched three "grown" men sit and scream obscenities at one another for their pseudo identities being shot at and killed. Why do they freak out when they're killed--two seconds later they're magically reincarnated! And thus the screaming begins again. This cycle goes on and on, sometimes for hours on end. The entire game consists of timed sessions of them running around various settings and killing one another. That's the game. The whole game. 

At least with Mario, there was an end of the level and a goal to reach. That's all I'm saying.

I know I'm fighting a losing battle, I know that. And I'm not trying to take away their juvenile entertainment.. I'm just in great need of my girlfriends. Sex and the City episodes are getting to me. I need my retail therapy partners and my lunch dates... and they're too far away from me. 

Oh the differences between male and female versions of a "fun Saturday night.." but I suppose that's an entirely different post for another day. 

Oh Monogamy!

Most girls wait and wait for a perfect monogamous relationship... and then... when that perfect one comes along... why does the grass always seem greener on the other side of the state line? 

I was one who waited and waited.. 

and waited..

and waited..

Then Mr. Perfect comes along with his fair share of flaws, but also his fair share of ways to steal my heart. Needless to say, quite a bit of time past now.. I can't really see my life without him. I'm fairly certain there isn't another out there who would treat me with the love and respect that he does. Example: Last night he came home from work, cooked a nice dinner for me that he'd thought out that day, watched the end of a Sex and the City episode (this is a big deal), took me out for ice cream, and came home to watch the Holiday, simply because I wanted to. Mind you, this is not an everyday thing, but it was a nice evening all about your's truly.

(Which will probably make some of you hate me after reading my next statement..sorry.) 

But what about those days when we long for something new and different, something wild and crazy, completely outside of our typical character? You know the kinds of nights I'm talking about.. we linger a bit too long with a charming and handsome close friend- of which I find I have too many of- late at night, we think twice about the guy supplying free drinks at the bar, we can't help but smile and wink at that one guy at the party paying us far too much attention... I mean, what's a girl to do, right? 

Best Friend (previously mentioned and yet to be nicknamed) and I have such conversations all the time.. we joke and laugh at our "misfortunes." She too has a long term boyfriend with whom she lives and she too has the same thoughts as I, all too often. The ironic part is, we both know we've got good things going, yet we both are entertained with thoughts of the aforementioned "greener grass." It's trouble... big trouble. Entertaining trouble... that we usually find ourselves in. We're young right? Right? Probably not a good excuse, but it's one I keep handy. I can almost promise you'll be hearing more of this as we get to know each other...

Oh, Life.