"Men Lie and Women Bitch..."

"..and nothing's ever gonna change that." 

Such wise words from a Mr. Perfect at the end of a blog-worthy conversation I just ended. One might think that with a comment like that, it was a very heated discussion with quite naive viewpoints thrown into the wind. It was quite intelligent actually. Two grown adults discussing a topic that I like to think I know a little something about, having a degree in Sociology and all.

 Spun from our "conversation" last night (recall: me-rolling eyes; him-talking a lot as per usual), and other notions brought about from his day at work, we somehow ended up talking about idealism in relation to gender beliefs today. 

He claims to be quite the idealist when it comes to society in general. I can see where this could be the case. It could also be the case that he's just naive. He can't understand why people just don't want to be equal with one another. His main point was that women don't want equality. No one really wants equality. They want to be a step up. Ahead of the other. He said that he didn't hate our Sex and the City viewing last night as much as he found it depressing that this wasn't so far fetched from reality. Granted, we discussed it had to be exaggerated for entertainment purposes, he said that the girls in SATC were a prime example that women don't want to be the same as men, they wanted to be better than men. My response to this, being the ever-so-classy me that I am, was "you don't know what the hell you're talking about, shut up." Okay, maybe I was laughing while saying it, but it is what I said. Women have to try and be better than men (smarter, funnier, quicker) to even potentially receive equal respect as men.. no matter the case. I'm not saying it's his fault that he doesn't see things as I do. I'm not saying I hate men and they keep me down, oh woe is me. I'm saying it is what it is. Society has been molded to be what we live in today. Period. 

A show like Sex and the City is not the basis of all of feminism for the twenty-first century. But the fact that they can "have sex/date like men" for example in one episode, or turn down dates because of shallow reasons for example in another episode, allude to the more independent and self-sufficient women of our time. And that's reality. That's what men do on a daily basis and I can't say that I've never met a woman who acts as such, but in any case I think it's simply hard for men to comprehend from such a perspective as SATC offers. It is empowering. Just as my angry girl music is. I don't think it's about being better than one another. I think it's about trying to find a happy medium that doesn't exist still in our present day. Not that it will never happen (for all of you idealists out there)... just that it hasn't so far. 

News flash: Equality doesn't exist. Not today anyway. 

Sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings there... 

And in response to more thought from my last post and of Kate White's quote, I'm going to say that I can feel all of this so strongly I want to argue about it until my face is blue, while wearing my new cute shoes, and having him open the door for me on the way out. It's not about hating on men, it's about loving being a woman. And being respected by all people, men and women, for being pretty damn fabulous at it. 

That's all. Classy out. 

My Kids are my Birth Control

Confused? Don't be. I'm referring to my kids at work. Don't get me wrong, I really do enjoy my job, but let's be real.. it's nice to leave them to their parents at the end of the day. They've made me question if I even want the responsibilities of a dog anymore. My responsible self is pretty much burned out by about 5 o'clock. This picture is by no means an exaggeration of my every day life.... 

Sometimes I think about all of the young women I attended high school with that have already had babies. Mind you, I'm in my early twenties. Babies? Hell no. And this is coming from someone who loves children. I couldn't do it. Not at this point in my life anyway.  I most definitely commend those that can. God bless them. 

Anyway, there was no real excitement on the weekend front. Just to have my friday off and the weekend in general without wild children running about made it seem like a vacation. I'm still waiting on my actual vacation to be scheduled. Please God let it be sometime in the near future. 

In other news, I'm almost done with my book. It's taken a long time I know. Somedays I'm really into it, and other times, I'm too tired from said children mentioned above to become involved. Yes, I'm still referring to "Are Men Really Necessary: When Sexes Collide" by Maureen Dowd. I've found that I really like her. I may find another one of her books to dive into eventually... While returning to my new obsession of the very beginning seasons of SATC, I took particular interest in one of Dowd's chapters "Of Pussycats, Booty Calls, Road Beef and Slump Busters." (Catchy, right?) 

In this chapter, she refers to her friend, Kate White (current editor of Cosmopolitan Magazine). White quotes, "But the feminists made you feel that if you wanted to have your cake and eat it, too, if you wanted to be pretty and sexy and like guys you couldn't be a feminist." It caught my attention. I read it last night and it almost went hand in hand with a conversation I had with Mr. Perfect earlier in the evening. Maybe not so much a conversation but me rolling my eyes and him trying to defend himself. 

With said new obsession previously mentioned, he was courteous enough to indulge me and watch a couple of episodes. He, however, at the end used the term "interesting" to describe the fact that I enjoy this show so much. He said it "didn't seem like me, because it wasn't about equality, it was about power and the degradation of both men and other women..." (not a direct quote but you get the point..) If you've ever seen SATC... let me rephrase, if you're a woman and have ever seen SATC, you know that the target audience is you. I don't think it's as much about power as it is about independence. 

But does this feminine independence, this strong willed sexual awareness, the want to be both beautiful and wanted along with strong and free, does all of this negate a "feminist disposition?" Feminists of the seventies thought so, as Kate White told you above. But what is this new wave of thought? Is it impossible to "have your cake and eat it too?" 

Anyway, maybe a train of thought too serious for my day off, but also nice to have something intelligent to discuss as opposed to shapes, colors, and play dough. Your thoughts?

This is What a Feminist Looks Like.

Don't be scared. 

Most people don't even understand the term: feminist. They only hear it and think bra burning, no make-up wearing, hairy-legged, lesbian. Because of course, to think women should be treated fairly in any sense of the word, would automatically mean same-sex tendencies. 

I mean, really?

Whatever. Anyway,  I'm reading a new book. Don't judge the title: Are Men Really Necessary? When Sexes Collide. I've just started it but so far, it's very cleverly written. She's very sarcastic and witty, which is great when it comes to this type of literature. Obviously, I think men are very necessary. I enjoy them. A lot..... Back to the book--This book, while it sounds like a man-bashing novel, so far, isn't so. It's more about women and who they've become in recent history in order to obtain "necessary men." 

I haven't read the whole thing, only started, so I am unable to give you a full review, but I wanted to give you a bit I laughed at last night: 

(She's talking about the three key books her mother had given her growing up: On Becoming a Woman, 365 Ways to Cook Hamburger and Other Ground Meats, and How to Catch and Hold a Man.)

"As a public service, I will reveal the six key axioms in How to Catch and Hold a Man for women who would be wives: 

-Do not make abrupt gestures of any kind.

-Men are fascinated by bright, shiny objects, by lots of curls, lots of hair (on the head), by bows, ribbons, ruffles and bright colors.

-If he has a girlfriend, try to become a good friend of hers.

-Sarcasm is dangerous. Avoid it altogether. It ruins the aura of softness, womanliness and kindness you should be attempting to create around yourself.

-Avoid saying a direct no and instead seek surroundings that make it difficult for him to approach you. Sit in a narrow armless chair or keep a lighted cigarette between you. 

-Keep thinking of yourself as a soft, mysterious cat. In order to get "the feline look," you must "stand relaxed, bend your knees slightly, tuck in your behind, pull in your stomach, relax your shoulders. For standing, adopt the position above, put one foot forward and rest your weight on the back foot. If this gets tiresome, put the other foot forward, always keeping your weight on the back foot."

...But with enough practice, and enough leopard-skin scarves, any woman can act as feline as a cat. And avoid sarcasm-- altogether (Dowd, 20-21). "

Thought you'd get a kick out of it too.