This is What a Feminist Looks Like.

Don't be scared. 

Most people don't even understand the term: feminist. They only hear it and think bra burning, no make-up wearing, hairy-legged, lesbian. Because of course, to think women should be treated fairly in any sense of the word, would automatically mean same-sex tendencies. 

I mean, really?

Whatever. Anyway,  I'm reading a new book. Don't judge the title: Are Men Really Necessary? When Sexes Collide. I've just started it but so far, it's very cleverly written. She's very sarcastic and witty, which is great when it comes to this type of literature. Obviously, I think men are very necessary. I enjoy them. A lot..... Back to the book--This book, while it sounds like a man-bashing novel, so far, isn't so. It's more about women and who they've become in recent history in order to obtain "necessary men." 

I haven't read the whole thing, only started, so I am unable to give you a full review, but I wanted to give you a bit I laughed at last night: 

(She's talking about the three key books her mother had given her growing up: On Becoming a Woman, 365 Ways to Cook Hamburger and Other Ground Meats, and How to Catch and Hold a Man.)

"As a public service, I will reveal the six key axioms in How to Catch and Hold a Man for women who would be wives: 

-Do not make abrupt gestures of any kind.

-Men are fascinated by bright, shiny objects, by lots of curls, lots of hair (on the head), by bows, ribbons, ruffles and bright colors.

-If he has a girlfriend, try to become a good friend of hers.

-Sarcasm is dangerous. Avoid it altogether. It ruins the aura of softness, womanliness and kindness you should be attempting to create around yourself.

-Avoid saying a direct no and instead seek surroundings that make it difficult for him to approach you. Sit in a narrow armless chair or keep a lighted cigarette between you. 

-Keep thinking of yourself as a soft, mysterious cat. In order to get "the feline look," you must "stand relaxed, bend your knees slightly, tuck in your behind, pull in your stomach, relax your shoulders. For standing, adopt the position above, put one foot forward and rest your weight on the back foot. If this gets tiresome, put the other foot forward, always keeping your weight on the back foot."

...But with enough practice, and enough leopard-skin scarves, any woman can act as feline as a cat. And avoid sarcasm-- altogether (Dowd, 20-21). "

Thought you'd get a kick out of it too. 

Bill Cosby Says..

"Kids say the darndest things!"

My new job has introduced me to a completely new perspective in working with small children. I have recently taken on a new endeavor upon entering into an actual classroom. My first day was made up of shuffling them around, being asked 800 questions, learning lesson plan formats, sitting "criss-cross apple sauce," and trying not to laugh when children from various backgrounds, various household structures, and various cultures tried to size me up as the new teacher in town. It went a little something like this...

I walk into the room, little Suzie* immediately says "what's that on your titties?" (referring to my necklace) I laugh, answer her question, and can only imagine what's next. To my surprise, my answer was sufficient and she finds something else entertaining elsewhere. Then, little Johnny* comes up, asks my name about ten times again and again, then finds his spot on the carpet, grins and winks at me whenever I pay him attention from across the room. I can only expect for this day to get better... 

Biting, squealing, running, crying, and all other forms of chaos later, I'm exhausted and feel the beginning of what looks to be a lovely headache ahead. I've never met such... energetic children. And we'll say my experience working with children is fairly extensive. I don't know that anyone can be fully prepared for what I walked into. But I'm still there. And surprisingly enough, I found it fun and even enjoyable. There is something truly rewarding at the end of the day when they don't want to leave you or they're worried they won't see you the the following day. 

I have one little Suzie* who is Hispanic and what little she does speak is in Spanish, but she is absolutely the most beautiful little girl. Although there is never very much conversation between the two of us, her eyes light up and she runs to me when I walk in the room. It's the little things in life that make up for the chaos, right? Little things and strong beverages, but that's beside the point. She's my chaos anecdote. 

Well, her... and nap time. 

*Names of children have been changed to protect the wild and unruly*