We Can't Forget, "These are the Days"

I'm trying my best to remember this on a day to day basis. As I'm gearing up for May Mania, I've also been struggling to cope with my current inner dilemma regarding my emotions around this time of year. While I'm thrilled for the upcoming events in the month of May, the weekdays in between the weekends seem to continue to both depress me and infuriate me... depending on the day. 

I'm so unhappy with my job. Within the past three weeks, I've cried three times while at work. Details aside, I'm working my ass off and still seem to come up short on a regular basis in regard to keeping my boss(es) satisfied. I'm over it. As many of the issues I have with my current career, the foremost at the moment is that they don't pay me enough to be on my ass all of the time when I know damn well I'm good at what I do, and most certainly not enough to make me cry and dread work as much as I currently do. I'm over the middle-aged women being jealous of the young, educated, and enthusiastic. I can't help but feel as if every little thing that I do is dissected simply to find fault. What is that? Honestly. I've known since I started this job that it wasn't a permanent situation. It's not what I went to school to do, but after moving to a new city and into a new apartment, and then looking for a job for what seemed like forever, I was happy with a starting out point that seemed as if it were a relatively positive environment to settle into while still looking for other options. Well, with a tanking economy and a new routine in general for this Classy Girl, I became quite comfortable in said positive environment until recently when the positive vibe has begun to drastically decline. I have been thrust back into the reality that this is not what I want to be doing for any longer than I have to. I have also come to accept that I let fear of failure hinder future wants or endeavors. Thus why I haven't taken the GRE, thus why I haven't been on the market for higher paying jobs that require more of me but that I know fully well I am capable of handling, thus why almost a year to date after my college graduation I find that I'm close to miserable more than not on a regular work day. I've never been one to give myself enough credit. So here I am. Poor pitiful me, huh? I'm not trying to play the pity card, just venting through what is currently a very frustrating period. 

Everyone that I've spoken with has understood my frustrations. All too often I've heard that your first 'real' job is never the one you most desire. My response: no joke. But I'm trying my best to push forward, not be rash, enjoy the good parts of my job (...most of my kids), and not be unemployed in our current monetary crisis. Thus, in honor of my post title, Sugarland's These are the Days, I leave you with a few of my favorite lines in the song...

It feels like we're living from paycheck to check.

We wake up wondering what might happen next.

Sometimes it feels like we won't make it through,

but the hard times pass like the good ones do.

I Have an Urge...

... to redecorate. Big time. Call it Spring Fever, call it too much time by myself in this apartment last week, call it whatever you want, but I have the urge. Majorly. I had a similar urge last summer when I was first beginning to decorate this place, however with renewing my lease around the corner and the summer months headed my way, I'm getting excited once again to rejuvenate this place. I'm quite OCD when I get in moods like this. It could be trouble. I need everything to match, go with the same theme, hide old things in closets, spend way too much money... the whole nine yards. 

Luckily enough for me, this puts my mind on a set focus. And that makes me happy. Not that I need much more for my mind to focus on nowadays... I have quite the busy month ahead. May Mania as I'm referring to it as: Derby weekend, Roxie's Graduation, Kenny Chesney Weekend with IG, the infamous Wedding Weekend, and finally... rest. Perhaps. All of it is going to be a blast, and I can't wait,  but not much down time at all until June, it seems. However, if I get on this redecorating kick, as it seems that I have, I will always enjoy coming back home to do more around this place, thus making the boredom of June that I'm sure will ensue in the aftermath of May Mania more acceptable. I'm okay with it. One of my city friends is an assistant manager in a local unique home decor, etc. store. I bought two pieces of art from her today. Well, I got her to get them for me. The 1/2 off perk. This is my starting off point. We'll see how much of a landslide I get myself into...

So exciting. ha. 

Debbie Downer

So as a forewarning, this is quite the opposite from my last post. I've gone from excitement to depression in what seems like no time at all, but in actuality it's been five days, right? Okay, so I'm not really depressed, but it's been quite the "Debbie Downer" day. I'm so over my job. And that's an understatement, really. I know that I should be happy to have any type of job in this, our fabulous economic crisis, but really, I'm dying here. Even worse, I feel like I am shorting myself of true fulfillment in "settling" every weekday from 8-5p. 

I had a great weekend. I thoroughly enjoyed my 'vacation' back home and my long weekend out of work. I enjoyed time with Roxie and the rest of the SATC ladies. Not enough quality time, as Roxie stated, but any time is better than none at all. I knew I had problems however, when I was literally feeling sick on my drive back to the city last night dreading work this morning. 

I love my kids, really I do. It's the rest of the bullshit that goes along with the work I do that I hate so much. The women in my center seem to grow crazier every day. Because I'm young, educated, and cute (and modest), it almost seems that they put more pressure on me to get my work done. And God forbid it doesn't get done when they ask, even if we have meetings during our planning periods all week, we're still supposed to be on the ball. No excuses. I'm over it. They seriously don't pay me enough to deal with it. Another issue I seem to battle inside of my own head is that in my current job, I'm not exactly using either degree that I paid quite a bit of money to obtain. Now, while I might not care if I didn't find interest in either of my degrees, I do. Very much so. I feel like I'm cheating myself. I also feel like I need to be back in school earning a higher degree. I find myself jealous of friends still in school continuing to learn the material I so love. I'd just like to be using it. Buh. 

It's just been a bad day. Happy Monday indeed. Unfortunately for you, my bad days show up right along with my good days here. Just a lot on my mind tonight and my two extra strength tylonol hasn't made any of it go away yet... sigh...

SO Excited and No One to Share it With!

Oh. my. God!!! I'm freaking out and no one is here to share in my incredible enthusiasm! Mr. Perfect is in rehearsal, Roxie is working and unavailable for conversation, IG and Rico are far too far away, and Mr. Super Athlete is not nearly as pumped as I need him to be at this point in my journey as he was in the middle of macking on some poor college co-ed, I'm sure... In any case, I'm sharing it with you now! What am I freaking out about you might ask? Well... I did it. I finally did it. I worked up enough nerve to try on the bridesmaid dress again. You know, the one that was ordered for me in a size larger than requested, the one that kicked started this whole fitness addiction. The results? I had to hold it up on me! It literally, being a strapless dress, was falling off of me! Can you believe it?! I was so excited! I'd be lying if I said I didn't tear up just a little. I want to celebrate! I knew it would be fit a lot better than it did when I first tried it on at the first of the year, well I hoped it would anyway, but I had no idea it would not only be easier to zip up but it would be falling off of me! AH! 

Okay, I'm done. Thanks for sharing in my craze! Hooray!

"Country Music Makes the World a Better Place"

...or so says Carrie Underwood last night after accepting her top female vocalist award from the Academy of Country Music. I agree. I love country music. I've previously posted about how my selection of music is quite broad in variety. From Jimmy Buffet to Destiny's Child, Keith Urban to T Pain, John Mayer to Tina Turner, the list goes on. Big fan of music in general. Therefore, I get really excited about music awards shows. Alas, I'm sure you read my distaste for the Grammys this year... we're not reliving that experience, but it seems to me that country music awards shows especially, never seem to disappoint. And last night was no exception.

After an awesome opening performance by Brooks and Dunn, Rascal Flatts, Sugarland, Taylor Swift, and Carrie Underwood, I knew that the next few hours were bound to be thoroughly entertaining. And I was right. With performances by the majority of my favorites including: Lady Antebellum, Carrie, Sugarland, Reba, George Strait, and Kenny Chesney, I felt as if I couldn't be happier if I had been sitting in the MGM Vegas watching live. Okay, no doubt, I probably would've been a lot happier if I had seen it live, but the point is, it was a great show. Sugarland took home Best Duo, Carrie took home Top Female Vocalist and Entertainer of the Year, Rascal Flatts took home Best Group, and Brad Paisley took home Top Male Vocalist... all in all, the majority of the decisions made by the Academy, I was quite pleased with. I would've chosen Jake Owen's beautiful self over Julianne Hough for Best New Artist and I would've chosen Carrie's Carnival Ride over Taylor Swift's Fearless for Album of the Year, but I won't be picky. As I texted both IG and Roxie all throughout the show, I couldn't help but feel as if I were watching my friends perform and win awards. I can't tell you how many "Yay!" or "I hate her!" or "Really!?" text messages were sent back and forth. It was quite the enjoyable evening. I hope the rest of you had the pleasure of viewing.

I have quite the summer of concerts and weddings planned out this year. You already know all about the weddings... but, as it is my first summer working full time and not being a student on summer vacation, I have been slightly worried that it will.. well.. suck. However, I have a major concert to kick off my summer down south with IG including Kenny Chesney, Lady Antebellum, and Miranda Lambert and another to wrap up the summer in late August with Sugarland and Keith Urban. Can we say SO excited?! Yes, yes we can. These events only added to the sentiments felt last night of watching my friends on television. Call me crazy, it's okay, it wouldn't be the first time. I probably had too much fun sitting at home watching my television on a Sunday night, yes, but I'm okay with it. It put me in a good mood to start another Monday. I'm still in a good mood on this Monday because I know it's a short week... Hope the rest of you have Good Friday off, too! If so, three and a half days til another weekend!



Note: While not a fan of either Taylor Swift or Miley Cirus and the ever-so teen dramatics that they bring along to their "country" performances, I will admit to enjoying SOME of their songs... even if I wish someone else would sing them. It really burns me, however, when the likes of the slightly talented Taylor wins out over the enormously talented Carrie. She can write songs, yes, good ones, yes, but Carrie could out sing her in a heartbeat. Just had to be said.

Part 2: The Dreaded Question

Better late than never, right? So sorry it's taken so long to get back to you with Part Dos of my weekend festivities... I really don't know where last week went. Seems that it just flew by. Not that I'm complaining. I'm looking forward to going home at the end of this week for the Easter holiday and being reunited with my fantastic friends that Roxie mentioned in her latest blog. I, too, love my friends. But that's not what this post is about. This post, my blogging friends, is about that dreaded question. Can anyone guess which one I'm referring to? I'll give you a hint... I was asked about 8,000 times last weekend in which I was present at both a wedding and a bridal shower... With me yet? 

"So when are you getting a ring, Classy?"

First of all, last I checked, that wasn't up to me. Second of all, it's really none of your business even though I know prying is oh so much fun. And thirdly, what is the rush?! I mean really and truly, what is the hurry?! 

As Bodelou mentions in her latest post, it is in fact THE season of weddings, so any young single female can only predict that this dreaded question will flood their conversations within the next few months, at least. Unfortunately, with my precious sorority sisters and their southern, down-home mind sets, this was the only conversation starter they could come up with. Not that there is anything necessarily wrong with that, but dear God it gets old. I have mentioned before that I really have no problem with young brides. If you are in your early twenties and think that it is time for you and the one you love to "settle down" or "tie the knot," more power to you and all of my blessings. Many of my friends have decided that this is where they are in their lives and I really am so happy for them. However, I'm not there and I don't wish to be. Therefore, leave me be to my singleness, thank you. 

I am currently reading The Bridal Wave as recommended by Island Girl for these days where the dreaded question seems to be the only question. If you haven't heard about it, you need to. It's a fabulous book full of sarcasm and wit all dedicated to those of us, in relationships or not, who are just trying to hold our ground in the mania of the "I've got big news!", "Save the 

Dates," bridesmaid dresses, and you guessed it... the dreaded question. For those of you on my same page, you seriously should check it out. I have found myself literally laughing out loud in particular chapters simply because it rings so true with blatent accuracy, you just have to laugh. 

But in all seriousness, my main point in this chaotic rant is that for some of you, the next step after a college diploma, or maybe before... might be a wedding band and for those that I know, a wedding that they can't afford, but for the rest of us, we are perfectly happy with being young, single, and having other priorities than which flowers will go together in our bouquets. And there's nothing wrong with us! Okay? Okay. So, whenever that day does come where my current priorities shift, you'll be the first to know so you can stop asking. Are we clear? Super. Thanks and done. 

As Promised: Weekend Festivities, Part 1

Success! Beautiful, blissful, drama-free success! The weekend was altogether fantastic. The reactions I was so craving were all delivered one by one. I saw Rico first and I believe it's safe to say he didn't know what to do with himself when I stepped out of my car. He continued to tell me how fabulous I looked throughout the remainder of the weekend. In anything that I put on, every fantastic outfit purchased prior to said weekend, he just couldn't get over how good I looked. ha. I loved it. Not gonna lie. If that wasn't motivation enough to continue working, more would follow...

On Friday night, it was a simple night of beer and basketball. Being March Madness and all, I was perfectly happy with relaxing with the boys for the evening. Always makes for good conversation. Rico and a couple of his fraternity brothers started talking about their sweetheart. The humor in this for me is that their sweetheart is Bitch numero uno when it comes to giving me hell. The conversation progresses to them asking me to return for pledging season next year with the title of their Sweetheart 2.0. ha! Although, I knew it was ridiculous for them to even suggest, the ego was more than a little boosted to find that they enjoyed my company so much. If they only knew how sweet I could be... I've learned from the best: IG, being the Sweetheart of our brother fraternity in school. It made me smile to say the least.

Saturday was the day of Round 1. Ring the bell, I'm going in to fight. My stomach was in absolute chaos. Knots of anxiety and stress. It was terrible. I dreaded it all morning. As stated previously, I build everything up in my head to be far worse than it actually is. I walk into the church feeling as if my entire sorority hates me when I know that it's only a couple of bitches continuing to talk shit because they have nothing better to do with their time. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't look fabulous. I told you, give them something to hate on if they feel the need to keep hating. My dress was a clearance steal from White House, Black Market and one sister in particular gushed over it the entire time, telling me how flattering it was and beautiful it was, could she have it... etc. I especially enjoyed these comments being made in front of the bitches. The bitches who, when seeing me for the first time try to pass for excited to see me. "Hey Classy! How are you?!".... please. I said a simple, "Hello" and turned around. I don't have time for the fake bs anymore. While I understand they're still in the non-confrontational and altogether immature mindset, I don't have to be. As Ms. Spears says...

"I don't like you, you don't like me, it don't matter. The only difference is you still listen, I don't have to. In one ear and out the other, I don't need you. Your words don't stick, I ain't perfect, but you ain't either."

Pretty perfect, don't you agree? In any case, I saw those that I wanted to see and that were happy to see me. I enjoyed conversation with old alumni and those that I had graduated with that I hadn't seen in a long time. And in the corner of my eye, you better believe, I could see the bitches talking and watching. Which is just exactly what I wanted them to be doing. I felt good.

After the wedding, I caught up with Rico again and let him know that I had survived and was actually happy with the outcome of the afternoon. I declined an invitation by a few of the sisters for dinner and party after the wedding. This also made me feel good. I am finally at a point where I can say 'No' and not care. I then was able to spend a few hours with one of my top favorite people of all times, my sociology advisor and favorite professor ever. It was so wonderful catching up and seeing her daughter that I once babysat. She's three and can spell her name. Being around three year olds all of the time now, I know that this is a big deal. She was beautiful. It was such a great night.

Round 2 would follow on Sunday. Before the duo-bridal shower, I went with Rico and one of his brothers to grab lunch and fresh flowers for the shower. As we sat in this particular restaurant, guess who pulls up and walks in. Indeed. The bitches. Perfect. ha. They walk in, they see us, they get their fake hello's ready, they get their food, and they leave. One of them has a terrible headache from the aforementioned party the night before. My question would be, "If you weren't planning on eating here, why didn't you just go through the drive thru?" Maybe it's me, I don't know. I laughed when they left that I just must be too intimidating. ha. It made my day. It's about time for them to change their plans for me instead of the other way around. They attended the shower, which by the way was beautiful, but didn't say a word to me. I was okay with this. I got plenty of "You look so happy and healthy!" and "You're so little!" and "Could you be my trainer?" in front of them, to last me for quite some time.

The bride of the wedding I'm going to be a part of in May, failed to mention anything about a difference in my appearance. This is not surprising. This being the same bride who ordered my dress in a size up from the size I asked her to. Not bitter. We'll see who needs what size come the end of May, won't we?

All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed my weekend. I had such a great time with Rico and catching up with those I'd been excited to see. The bitches held their position on the bitch scale, but to their dismay, I had a brand new attitude and a body that isn't done working but is quite a bit better than what it was, last they saw. I felt good and looked good. I was happy. And healthy. Even after my late night Taco Bell run... hey, we had to have at least one, right?

I know this is a long one, and you can't imagine why there would be a Part 2, but that's an entirely different rant in general. Stay tuned. Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend as well and that your Monday back in reality wasn't as severely depressing as mine. Happy Tuesday!