As Promised: Weekend Festivities, Part 1

Success! Beautiful, blissful, drama-free success! The weekend was altogether fantastic. The reactions I was so craving were all delivered one by one. I saw Rico first and I believe it's safe to say he didn't know what to do with himself when I stepped out of my car. He continued to tell me how fabulous I looked throughout the remainder of the weekend. In anything that I put on, every fantastic outfit purchased prior to said weekend, he just couldn't get over how good I looked. ha. I loved it. Not gonna lie. If that wasn't motivation enough to continue working, more would follow...

On Friday night, it was a simple night of beer and basketball. Being March Madness and all, I was perfectly happy with relaxing with the boys for the evening. Always makes for good conversation. Rico and a couple of his fraternity brothers started talking about their sweetheart. The humor in this for me is that their sweetheart is Bitch numero uno when it comes to giving me hell. The conversation progresses to them asking me to return for pledging season next year with the title of their Sweetheart 2.0. ha! Although, I knew it was ridiculous for them to even suggest, the ego was more than a little boosted to find that they enjoyed my company so much. If they only knew how sweet I could be... I've learned from the best: IG, being the Sweetheart of our brother fraternity in school. It made me smile to say the least.

Saturday was the day of Round 1. Ring the bell, I'm going in to fight. My stomach was in absolute chaos. Knots of anxiety and stress. It was terrible. I dreaded it all morning. As stated previously, I build everything up in my head to be far worse than it actually is. I walk into the church feeling as if my entire sorority hates me when I know that it's only a couple of bitches continuing to talk shit because they have nothing better to do with their time. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't look fabulous. I told you, give them something to hate on if they feel the need to keep hating. My dress was a clearance steal from White House, Black Market and one sister in particular gushed over it the entire time, telling me how flattering it was and beautiful it was, could she have it... etc. I especially enjoyed these comments being made in front of the bitches. The bitches who, when seeing me for the first time try to pass for excited to see me. "Hey Classy! How are you?!".... please. I said a simple, "Hello" and turned around. I don't have time for the fake bs anymore. While I understand they're still in the non-confrontational and altogether immature mindset, I don't have to be. As Ms. Spears says...

"I don't like you, you don't like me, it don't matter. The only difference is you still listen, I don't have to. In one ear and out the other, I don't need you. Your words don't stick, I ain't perfect, but you ain't either."

Pretty perfect, don't you agree? In any case, I saw those that I wanted to see and that were happy to see me. I enjoyed conversation with old alumni and those that I had graduated with that I hadn't seen in a long time. And in the corner of my eye, you better believe, I could see the bitches talking and watching. Which is just exactly what I wanted them to be doing. I felt good.

After the wedding, I caught up with Rico again and let him know that I had survived and was actually happy with the outcome of the afternoon. I declined an invitation by a few of the sisters for dinner and party after the wedding. This also made me feel good. I am finally at a point where I can say 'No' and not care. I then was able to spend a few hours with one of my top favorite people of all times, my sociology advisor and favorite professor ever. It was so wonderful catching up and seeing her daughter that I once babysat. She's three and can spell her name. Being around three year olds all of the time now, I know that this is a big deal. She was beautiful. It was such a great night.

Round 2 would follow on Sunday. Before the duo-bridal shower, I went with Rico and one of his brothers to grab lunch and fresh flowers for the shower. As we sat in this particular restaurant, guess who pulls up and walks in. Indeed. The bitches. Perfect. ha. They walk in, they see us, they get their fake hello's ready, they get their food, and they leave. One of them has a terrible headache from the aforementioned party the night before. My question would be, "If you weren't planning on eating here, why didn't you just go through the drive thru?" Maybe it's me, I don't know. I laughed when they left that I just must be too intimidating. ha. It made my day. It's about time for them to change their plans for me instead of the other way around. They attended the shower, which by the way was beautiful, but didn't say a word to me. I was okay with this. I got plenty of "You look so happy and healthy!" and "You're so little!" and "Could you be my trainer?" in front of them, to last me for quite some time.

The bride of the wedding I'm going to be a part of in May, failed to mention anything about a difference in my appearance. This is not surprising. This being the same bride who ordered my dress in a size up from the size I asked her to. Not bitter. We'll see who needs what size come the end of May, won't we?

All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed my weekend. I had such a great time with Rico and catching up with those I'd been excited to see. The bitches held their position on the bitch scale, but to their dismay, I had a brand new attitude and a body that isn't done working but is quite a bit better than what it was, last they saw. I felt good and looked good. I was happy. And healthy. Even after my late night Taco Bell run... hey, we had to have at least one, right?

I know this is a long one, and you can't imagine why there would be a Part 2, but that's an entirely different rant in general. Stay tuned. Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend as well and that your Monday back in reality wasn't as severely depressing as mine. Happy Tuesday!

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

First, note: This might come off as Carrie Bradshaw-esque. If that's the case, you've been warned. Second, also note: This is a follow up of Island Girl's last post, just so you understand where I'm coming from.

As you probably now know all too well, since the beginning of this new year, I've been on what one could refer to lightly as a 'health kick'. One could also refer to it not so lightly as 'super dieting, calorie watching, ass kicking, gym going, point counting, obsessively dreaming of change' kick. For many reasons, some previously stated, some not, this has been my life since January 1, 2009. Since that date, I've lost almost 15 pounds. In a healthy way. I'm working really hard to come up with the results I want to see in the mirror.

Now, after reading Island Girl's latest post on my break yesterday at work, I've not been able to get her thoughts out of my head. Mainly because I share so many of her fears, concerns and frustrations. While I have been on this 'kick' for a much shorter time span than she, I am already beginning to see where things could get out of hand for me.

This past week was a little frustrating. The weekend wasn't exactly diet friendly as it was a holiday weekend and when "Roll Call Wednesday" came around for OSB, once again, it was another week with not much change. In my head I understand that 13-15 pounds is quite a bit of weight to have lost by pure hard work and accountability in under 2 months. In the mirror, I'm already fearing that I've hit that plateau and it's going to stop falling off of me after this being the second week without much loss to account for. While I see that my stomach is getting flatter and my face is slimming down, I caught myself on Tuesday being disgusted with my 'curves'-- some might enjoy, I'd like to get rid of at least some of it-- and pinching the skin on my back thinking why hasn't this gone away too? Okay, now before I'm accused of the onsets of an eating disorder, please note that I love food far too much for that to ever occur. I will take full responsibilty, however, for a self-image disorder. That I've owned all my life. I've just been pretty good about keeping it to myself most of the time. But this is where Island Girl and her 'nutritionist' made me think...

Is she for real? This nutritionist, not I.G. Does she honestly believe that people in our 'age bracket' have overcome whatever image issues they previously had and are just 'settled' with however they look currently? This concept absolutely baffles me! Seriously? And for her to say that without laughing. Moreso, for this to be her reasoning to explain away voiced frustrations of a client? In the infamous words of Lewis Black, "And I am confused!"

But in retrospect, as I've contemplated it for a couple of days now, it brings about a larger issue. Will we ever be good enough for ourselves? Not for anyone else. Not for popular culture or the new fashion trends that we may love or hate. Not for the cute guy at the bar. But for the mirror. Because when it comes down to it, that's all we have. It's me and my reflection. If I can't be confident in that, what do I have? Don't get me wrong and take me for some shallow human being who only believes that beauty is only skin deep, but seriously, if you can't look in the mirror and be proud of that person, physically, emotionally, spiritually, whatever... What do you have? Everyone else's opinions? Can't be good for all around character building. At least not in my world. ha. Maybe a little deep for a Friday night, but here I am. Just a whole lot of questions and none with true answers I suppose. Can't say it's the first time I've asked them, but maybe the first time I've felt them necessary to outwardly impose.

Some nutritionist, huh? I.G. I feel for you, but I feel more for her. She is seriously disillusioned with both the world around her and more specifically her career. Keep pushing. You rock.

Happy 'healthy' weekending!