As the new year vastly approaches, I'm taking the time to re-evaluate my circumstances. My view points. My way of thinking and living. We discussed my New Year's Resolutions in like October, so I won't bore you with a sequel of such. You already know about my mission, so I won't continue to bore you with that either. Over my Christmas holiday, I had a lot of time to spend with both friends and family back home. It was, for the most part, very enjoyable. It gave me time to think and breathe again. It was a very Merry Christmas.While, today, I'm back at work and yesterday, I was dreading Monday's evil return, I feel like I'm in a zone, if you will. I'm ready to go. I'm ready to jump start the 2009 year full of energy and ready to take on every resolution, goal, and mission. I'll fill you in on why....
One reason, I'm ready to feel good. I'm ready to continue this positive outlook on life. Out with the sad, in with the happy. Christmas day, I went over to my aunt's house with the rest of my 30 member family mourning the first Christmas without my Nana who passed the first of October. Usually, the Christmas tree would have at least 100 presents under it because my Nana was a shopping queen, especially at Christmas time. One year, I believe I counted 181. In any case, this year, there was one for each person. We drew names and traded gifts. I received some generic Bath and Body works gift set. It was nice and I didn't complain, but it was on the more depressing side of the holiday's events thus far. Then my aunt's bright idea for distributing all 300+ pieces of her jewelry came to light. They were all bagged in goodie bags piece by piece, sorted by what they were: necklace, pendent, bracelet, pin, etc. Then numbers were drawn. All 12 of the women/girls in the room chose a number from a basket and that was the order in which we got to choose the jewelry. Is anyone else seeing something wrong here? Because I did.
Of course I was number 12.
Now, one could very wrongly mistake my disgust for this whole process for jealousy or greed in that I was the last grandchild to be able to draw. I'll have you know, however, I was very upset about this operation long before we drew the numbers. Numbers 1-3 and 6 were not even blood members of my family. 1 and 2 were the baby and "baby momma" of my younger cousin and number 6 had been "adopted" into my family a couple of years back in order to escape a bad home herself. Now, while I have no qualms with any of these young girls, I have been the woman's granddaughter for 23 years. 23. years. Number 6 chose a strand of my grandmother's pearls. Also note, it is unknown if they were real or fake. I'm sure that my aunt went through from the beginning and took the real, but in any case, I was not a fan. I was so angry by the time I left. All of my cousins were laying it all out on the ground, bartering for trade with other pieces, laughing at some of it. Granted some of it was atrocious and I laughed later at some that I had gotten. The whole scene just made me really sad. In my opinion, it was too soon. It was too soon to hand it all out and it could've been handled in a much better fashion. But some things you just have to let go of I suppose...
Which brings me to where I am now. Letting go. However difficult it was to keep my mouth shut, I managed. However difficult it was to come back to work today, knowing my brother, still in college, can stay home for another two weeks on vacation, I managed. It's high time I did a little growing up. However painful. I'm counting my blessings and ready to toast to the new year.
New year, new way of thinking, and my new car. Get excited.
