I feel that this accurately portrays my mood since Sunday upon returning home. It's been a pretty lonely week. But then again, I knew it would be. You look forward to one weekend for months. It comes and goes far too quickly, just as you knew it would. Then you're left with both the sadness that it's over and the emptiness of not having it to look forward to any longer.
I don't know that many understand, or maybe you all do, but I have such a hard time letting go. I am not one that deals well with change but I have also had an entire summer to accept the fact that I don't live in college anymore. I had almost gotten to a point where I was at peace with it. Not that I still didn't miss the people unbelievably so and not that I don't still daydream of the life I had six months ago, but I was trying to find that silver lining of the new life I'm leading. I'm still trying to find it, I guess. In any case, returning back to that life this weekend was fantastic. I truly had a great weekend as you read earlier. It was so nice to be reminded that those I love are real. Not just a voice on the other end of the line. And that they miss me as I miss them. Terribly. Unfortunately, such a visit was short-lived and now here I am again. Back at square one.
Island girl and I had joked early Friday morning, at the beginning of our long road trip, that Monday morning would be hell. Back to reality. Back to work. Back to being far away from our friends. Sure enough, that's exactly what it was. And as we've agreed since Monday, it seems to have carried over throughout the remainder of the week as well.
Tell me I'm feeling sorry for myself. Tell me I'm wallowing in my own self-pity. Tell me I need to grow up. I know it already, don't rub it in. It's just been a lonely week. I'm really missing home. When in actuality, this should feel like home by now. Like I said, hard time letting go.
Just those post-homecoming, post-road trip, post-excitement blues. It would've been nice to have something exciting this weekend to look forward to again, just to keep things moving along. Alas, nothing...Perhaps a visit with the brother. That could be fun. We'll see.
Keep Roxie in your thoughts today... Wishing I was with her.
